Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
