if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
