Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i think i just lost a toe
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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