LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
