We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize