hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
