Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
