turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
