he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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