the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
