Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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