Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
