I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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