@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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