I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
