Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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