Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
