you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
