I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize