so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
