Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
