someone owes me an orgasm
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
