At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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