if only i could text you this smell
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
