I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
