Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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