First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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