4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
