Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
