The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
