i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
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We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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