Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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