My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
