strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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