I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
