turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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