I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
