I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
