i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
