Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
