So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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