Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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