He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's never too late to be topless.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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