Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
