i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
