drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
