Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
