chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm like, not good at living.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
