he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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