best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When did angry sex become our thing?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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