did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the day after is always just damage control
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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