Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We left the knife in your bed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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