My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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