So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have fence marks all over my body
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
