I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
