let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
