remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
