Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
