Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
