Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
