Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
