Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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