Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
