"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
